hi people .
im currently feeling low . i cannot concentrate on anything . while im getting rid of the metal shelf , the metal fall on my shoulder . but my heart hurts more than my shoulder .
bibi . you must b sick and tired of my sorry and apologies right ? you forgave me once and again but i still do it . bibi . just now while i was on bus , i was reflecting . i am lucky enough to have you . i must treasure . bibi , a few times i almost broke down , you know . im too pressurized . by family , friends and by this relationship . im also doing something wrong , when i thinks it's right .

my family . they don't show me care and concern . they treat me differently . but i don't know why . im trying to make them love me more . however , the more i do for them , the more they took it for granted. i don't understand why .

and friends , people starts to dislike me . they don't treat me like how they used to . my teammates are outcasting me . they no longer treat me as part of them ...

this relationship . im always trying hard to treat you better and making myself into a better person . so that i won't be a burden to you . bibi , i don't want to be someone that only whines to you and complains to you . but i want to be someone that can understand you . i want to give you the care and concern that i never get it before , not even in my family . bibi , im starting to feel fear . im always doing it wrongly , i don't know why . i always can't achieve it . but instead , i create problems . bibi , you are always so patience and always forgive me . im really really really sorry ...


current mood :
sad ; crying .